Me Right Side In

I wonder if there’s anyone

Like the girl I want to be

Who wonders what it’s like

To live her life like me

I bet her

Hands are warmer

I bet her

Intentions are true

But she will

Never love

The universe
In any precise similarities

She will never know it

In quite the same way,
That way I do.

She can travel

The world

And follow

In your wake

But she will always

She will always

Be your

Unresolved mistake

She flips her eyes

Like they’re mine

Wears my freckles

With pride,
Like they're really
Anything to look at
Like she's knows
Better ways in which
My features must catch light.

But do her words

Reach your heart?

Is she still me inside?

And when you look

Into her eyes

At night

Do they shine

The way mine did

For you

Underneath

Unrealistic reveries?

Underneath

The lamplight?

Are they even near

As bright?
When she speaks of
Places I find my passion,

Anywhere near

As bright?

She can’t reach you

And she knows, but

Can those lips

Of mine

Mask her spite?

I wonder if there's anyone

Like the girl you'd like to be

Who looks across the table

And finds a girl like me.

I’ve searched

And I thought

Maybe there were

Maybe there were

A few

But none were as good

None were as you as you.

So maybe there’s a me

Smarter, sweeter, stronger

But she will never

She will never

Understand why
Her "better than" me's
Aren't better.
Aren't me.



2011

My Selfish Deposit Box

Do not pity me.

For I am selfish

Somewhere.

I am self-assured,

In a nook

Of myself

That remains

Perpetually foreign

To all but myself.

It may be hidden

In the shallow basin

Of a collarbone,

Or the spaces

Between my fingers.

But it’s doubtful,

For they’ve been

Searched.

And no one has

Found me yet.

I am selfish

Within.

In this crevice

Somewhere

Inside of me,

I know myself

Quite well.

It may conceal itself

In the crook

Of my elbow.

Or the back

Of my knees

But it will always be

It thrives

Somewhere

In this space

Where the

Secrets weave

gracefully

among their desolate

beating brothers.

Through one another

Through one another

That’s where

My knowledge lies.

It may be lost,

Drowning in a sea

Of strands,

Swimming through

The waves

Of my hair.

That’s where

My selfish tendencies

Thrive.

I care for her

I care for him

I care for you

But I care for me more

In this ugly

Unknown

Space.

And here I am not sorry.

Here I mend myself.

And this is why

I’m not looking for

Apologies

Because for you

the place

May not be hidden

Secret, or dark.

Still,

There you mend yourself.

And there,

You shall never be sorry.



2012

How To: Dreams.

Tell me.
Where does a dream
come from?

Does it sprout
from the tendrils
of hope
that wind through
a heart?

Does it weave
it's way
along brainwaves
and encompass
the mind?

A dream is.
Correct?
Abstract, but
Oh so tangible.

A dream is
a wish your heart makes?
a fervent hope?
It comes from deep within,
or so I've been told.

The silvery
shining lining
on every hopeful cloud.

Tell me when.
When is it alright?
Is dreaming
child's play?
I suppose it's uncool now?
Then I guess
I'm an incorrigible loser.

How to follow a dream?
Do tell.
To chase?
To hope?
To hunt?

A wish.
Wish, dear.
Wish, darling.
For your dreams
May be all
That are true.

Who decides
the perameters
of my potential?

Tell me.
Tell me what you know.

What do you know about hope?
Tell me
There's something else for me.

Yes, I believe.
Do tell.


2010